Dear Tiffany, I know you wrote the letter. The only way to beat my crazy was by doing something even crazier. Thank you. I love you. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up. I just got stuck. Pat.
[pulls out megaphone]
LISTEN HERE, YOU STUNNING BABE. YOU BY NO MEANS SHOULD CHANGE YOUR BODY TO “MAKE” BOYS LIKE YOU. ANY BOY WHO WOULD BASE HIS AFFECTIONS ENTIRELY ON YOUR APPEARANCE IS A BOY WHO DOES NOT DESERVE YOU. ANY PERSON WHO BELIEVES YOUR BODY IS THERE FOR BOYS TO LIKE IS AN ASSHOLE. YOUR BODY IS THE VESSEL FOR YOUR SOUL, AND YOU SHOULD DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT WITH IT. WEAR CUTE DRESSES AND DYE YOUR HAIR BRIGHT PINK AND GET THIRTY THOUSAND PIERCINGS AND LOVE YOUR BODY AS IT DESERVES TO BE LOVED. IT IS THE CONTAINER FOR ALL THE GALAXIES YOU HOLD AND YOU MUST FEED IT AND CARE FOR IT AND CLOTHE IT AND DISREGARD EVERY FUCKNUT WHO TELLS YOU OTHERWISE.
YOU ARE MADE UP OF CELESTIAL LIGHT AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID.
[smashes megaphone and exits stage left]
I LOVE HOW CAS SAYS SOMETHING THAT’S “SO CAS” AND DEAN SAYS SOMETHING THAT’S “SO DEAN”, AND THE TWO JUST SHARE THIS MOMENT WHERE THEY REALIZE HOW MUCH THEY LOVE AND MISS EACH OTHER
AND SAM JUST JUDGES THEM “SO GET THIS: YOU TWO HOMOSEXUALS ARE DEFINITELY DICKING EACH OTHER”
ALSO, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT BEN EDLUND ONCE DESCRIBED DEAN & CAS’ RELATIONSHIP AS A "LONG-DISTANCE MARRIAGE"
Please know that if you date me, I am a very touchy person. I will like to pet your head and hold your hand, rub your shoulders or hug you a lot. Simply put, to physically feel you in some way is very comforting to me and I can’t really apologize for it, it just feels natural to me and makes me happy.